Batteries not included
I just had my very first experience with a Fleshlight, and it was pretty cool. No batteries were included, but that’s okay because no batteries are needed. With a Fleshlight all the power comes from you. You provide the thrust and the Fleshlight is but a passive receptacle with an uncanny resemblance to a certain part of a woman’s body. In spite of the weird Anime-doll pink color, the Fleshlight strongly resembles a vagina. It’s soft and smooth and gives when you push. I wasn’t at all sure how this thing was supposed to work exactly. I did not practice this in my head first. The Fleshlight was a surprise gift from a friend today. Before today, I knew they existed and what they were for, but I had never imagined myself obtaining and using one. I began by using my hand at first, as always. I did not attempt to enter the Fleshlight unit before being fully erect. When I was ready I was also very pleasantly surprised to discover that a small packet of lube had been provided with the Fleshlight unit. That turned out to be really important, because I had nothing suitable in the house and the Fleshlight (while exceedingly soft) is quite tight and difficult to enter without lube. I began to stroke a little faster (in synch with the action in the video I was watching). It was then that I discovered one of the Fleshlight’s design drawbacks. When you try to stroke too hard, a vacuum is created and it becomes very difficult (and uncomfortable) to penetrate. Lube only helps so much. So, the Fleshlight must be made love to rather tenderly. I have a hard time with tender when I’m by myself. So I wound up using my hand up until close to the end, then I inserted and proceeded to finish-off inside the unit. I must say for a few moments the sensation was quite delightful, and uncannily like the real thing. Being able to ensheath so much of myself was very much not like conventional jerking off. I’m not a fist-pumper… more of a tip-rubber, actually… but even if you are a small man with a large fist I’m pretty sure you can’t touch this. The feeling is deep and good and real. Which brings me to the unpleasant reality of being finished. It’s messy. You have to clean it, and it’s gross. I’m going to gamble that I was like most men and did not read the printed instructions that came inside the box before I used it. I got home. I unpacked it. I used it. But there I was suddenly holding up this clumsy gray object with my subsiding erection, and wondering what the hell to do next. Was there some recommended de-coupling procedure? When I started to withdraw from the Fleshlight, it began to make all these awful sucking and farting noises, and I felt really disgusted with the whole thing. I’m a little ashamed to admit this because it was a nice gift, but I threw the damn thing down the garbage chute, rather than clean it. It wasn’t that I did not want to clean it (though the idea really grossed me out). It was more that I decided I just didn’t want to have this thing in my life. It’s not like I could possibly re-gift it, now that I had used it. So, all I could think to do was throw it out. Thus the Fleshlight gave me a strange new perspective of casual sex. It is undeniably an object, and so it reminded me of all those I have sexually objectified in the past. Gung-ho gangbusters when you start. Queasy regret when you’re done. In spite of all this, I say go ahead and buy one. It’s worth the experience, even if you only use it once. And you just might.